They get along intimately while maintaining proper politeness. (相敬如賓)
During the Spring and Autumn Period of
China, the king of the Jin Kingdom was in conversation with a minister whose
name was (Xu chen).
The king said to (Xu chen).
For a kingdom to prosper, it must have many
good ministers.
If you find anyone capable, please let me
know.
I will reuse him.
(Xu Chen) answered.
That's great. I discovered not long ago
that someone is capable.
And you know this person.
The king asked.
Who is he?
(Xu Chen) answered.
His name is (Xi Que), his father was also a
minister before, but his father was sentenced to death for crimes.
The king asked.
Why do you think he is a capable person?
(Xu Chen) answered.
At noon the other day, I sat on the side of
the road to rest.
I saw him farming in the farmland not far
away.
After about ten minutes, her wife arrived,
and his wife brought the lunch prepared for him.
His wife politely handed him the lunch with
both hands.
He thanked his wife very politely.
They had lunch together, and they talked
and laughed while eating.
The two of them are close emotionally but
maintain proper politeness.
I look at them and feel very warm.
A person's external behavior shows his
character.
So I think he is a capable person.
The king nodded in agreement.
But the king said to him.
But his father committed a crime, can I
really use him?
(Xu Chen) answered.
I think his father committed a crime, but
that doesn't mean that he will also commit a crime.
We should not use this prejudice to treat
anyone.
The king nodded again in agreement.
This idiom is specifically used to describe
a couple who love each other while maintaining proper respect and courtesy.
Dear friend, what inspiration or thoughts
did you have after hearing this story.
Will you and your family lose courtesy
because you are too familiar? Will you have prejudice against a person because
of his family?
I hope this story will give you some new
gains.
相敬如賓(They get along intimately while
maintaining proper politeness.)
中國的春秋時代，晉王國的國王跟一個大臣在對談，這個大臣名字叫做(胥臣)。
國王對(胥臣)說。
一個王國要興盛，就必需有很多好的大臣。
你若是有發現誰有能力，請告訴我。
我會重用他。
(胥臣)回答。
很好呢。我不久前發現了一個人有能力。
而且這個人你也認識。
國王問。
他是誰呢?
(胥臣)回答。
他的名字叫做(郤缺)，他的父親從前也是一位大臣，但他的父親因為犯罪被判處死刑。
國王問。
你為何覺得他是一個有能力的人呢。
(胥臣)回答。
前幾天的中午，我坐在路邊休息。
我看見他正在不遠處的農田中耕種。
過了大概十分鐘，她的妻子也到了，他的妻子帶來為他準備的午餐。
他的妻子很有禮貌地，用雙手把午餐遞給他。
他則是很有禮貌的謝謝他的妻子。
他們一起午餐，他們在吃飯的時候有說有笑。
他們兩個感情親密卻又保持著適當的禮貌。
我看著他們感覺非常的溫馨。
一個人外在的行為表現出他的品格。
所以我認為他是一個有能力的人。
國王點頭表示同意。
但國王對他說。
但是他的父親犯過罪，我真的可以任用他嗎。
(胥臣)回答。
我認為他的父親犯罪，不代表他也會犯罪。
我們不應該用這種偏見去看待任何一個人。
國王再次點頭表示同意。
這句成語專門被用來形容一對夫妻指夫妻互相關愛卻又同時保持合宜的尊敬與禮貌。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你與家人，會因為太熟悉而失去禮貌嗎?你會因為一個人的家庭而產生對他的偏見嗎?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為左傳-僖公三十三年。