You should reflect on yourself first. (反求諸己)
There is an important scholar in Confucianism
whose name is (Meng Ke).
His book records many conversations between
him and other people.
Someone asked him a few questions.
He replied.
If you love someone very much, but you
can't get his closeness to you, then what you should do is not to blame the
person.
You should reflect on yourself first, and
you should ask yourself whether your love is pure.
If there is a king, when he discovers that
he has not governed his kingdom well.
This king should reflect on himself first.
He should ask himself if he manages his kingdom in a wise manner.
This is like when you want your child to
comply with the norms but he does not follow your suggestions. You should first
reflect on whether your behavior complies with the norms.
If your behavior cannot produce the results
you want, all you should do is to reflect on yourself first.
You cannot change others, but you can
change yourself. You change yourself first, and then others may change.
This idiom means that if a person's actions
do not produce the expected results, he should first review himself rather than
others.
Dear friend, what inspiration or thoughts
did you have after hearing this story.
Do you want to change the world and the
people around you? Which one do you think is easier to change?
I hope this story will give you some new
gains.
反求諸己。(You should reflect on yourself
first.)
儒家有一個重要的學者，他的名字叫做（孟軻）。
他的書中記錄了許多他與其他人對談的話。
有一個人問他幾個問題。
他回答。
如果你很愛一個人，但你卻得不到他對你的親近，那你應該做的事情不是責怪這個人。
你應該先反省自己，你應該問問自己的愛是否純粹。
如果有一個國王，他發現他沒有治理好他的王國時。
這一個國王應該先反省自己，他應該問問自己是否以智慧的方式去管理他的王國。
這就好比你希望你的小孩遵守規範時他卻不聽從你的建議，你應該先反省自已的行為是否有遵守規範。
如果你做的行為沒有辦法產生你想要的成效時，你所應該做的就是先反省自己。
你沒有辦法改變別人，但你可以改變自己。你先改變自已，別人也才可能會改變。
這句成語的意思是，一個人如果他的行動沒有產生預期的效果，他應該先檢討自己而不是檢討別人。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你希望改變世界與改變你的周遭的人嗎?你認為改變自已與改變別人哪一個比較容易呢?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為孟子-離婁章句上-第四節