A person who transcends worldly norms(方外之士)
In the Chinese kingdom of Cao Wei, there
was a famous minister who was also a famous writer and poet. His name was Ruan
Ji, and there is a story about him in the history books.
He likes to read, he likes to read books on
various subjects, and he can read for a month at home without getting bored.
When he was young, he liked to read Confucian books. As he grew older, he
preferred the thoughts of Laozi and Zhuangzi.
He and his six friends led the ideological
trend of the time. Because of their influence, Taoist doctrine became the
mainstream of thought at that time.
He was a literary leader of his time and
was appreciated by many intellectuals and ministers.
When his mother died, many ministers from
the Cao Wei Kingdom came to his home to pay their respects.
A minister named Pei Kai also came to pay
his respects.
He happened to be drunk when Pei Kai
arrived at his house. His hair was dishevelled and he was sitting in the living
room of his house with his feet spread in a very undignified posture. He nodded
and greeted Pei Kai, but did not get up to greet him.
Pei Kai was not angry at him for not
getting up to greet him warmly. Pei Kai expressed his condolences according to
the etiquette of the time.
After Pei Kai left his house, another
minister who had gone to pay his respects asked Pei Kai.
I would like to ask you a question, okay?
Pei Kai replied to the minister.
What do you want to ask me?
Said the minister.
When we went to Ruan Ji's house to pay our
condolences, Ruan Ji did not cry. I don't think he was sad at all about his
mother's death.
When we went to his house to pay our
condolences, he did not receive me according to formal etiquette, so I did not
respond to him according to formal etiquette.
But you are different from me. He also did
not receive you according to formal etiquette, but you responded to him
according to formal etiquette.
I would like to ask you, why did you
respond like that?
Pei Kai replied to the minister.
Ruan Ji's ideological field is different
from ours. He is a person who transcends worldly norms. He believes that inner
suffering is more important than outer etiquette, so he did not receive me with
formal etiquette.
I am an ordinary person. I cannot completely
ignore other people's thoughts and live according to my heart like he does, so
I still respond to him according to formal etiquette.
The minister said after listening to him.
You respect the differences between others
and yourself, but at the same time you stick to your own principles. Your
approach is very appropriate and worth learning from.
The meaning of this idiom is used to
describe a person who transcends worldly norms.
It is usually used to describe Taoist
priests or monks.
Dear friend, what inspirations or thoughts
do you have after listening to this story?
How do you judge Pei Kai's behaviour? Are
you a person who sticks to your principles but remains flexible?
I hope this story can give you some new
insights.
方外之士(A person who transcends worldly norms)
中國的曹魏王國，有一個著名的大臣，他也是一個著名的文學家與詩人，他的名字叫做阮籍，歷史書上記載了一個他的故事。
他很喜歡讀書，他喜歡涉獵各種不同領域的書籍，他可以連續一個月都在家裡讀書而不會感到無聊。他年輕時喜歡閱讀儒家的書籍，他年長之後他更偏好於老子與莊子的思想。
他與他的六個朋友帶領著那個時代的思想風潮，因為他們的影響，道家的學說成為當時的思想主流。
他是那個時代的文壇領袖，他受到很多知識分子與大臣的重視。
當他的母親去世之後，曹魏王國的很多大臣都到他的家中來表示哀悼。
有一個名字叫做裴楷的大臣也到他家去吊唁。
裴楷到了他家的時候他正好喝醉了。他的頭髮散亂，他雙腳打開用很不莊重的姿勢坐在他家裡的客廳中。他點點頭與裴楷打了個招呼，他沒有起身接待裴楷。
裴楷沒有因為他沒有起身熱烈的接待自己而生氣，裴楷按照當時弔唁的禮節向他表達哀悼的意思。
裴楷離開他家之後，另外一個一起去弔唁的大臣問裴楷。
我想問你一個問題好嗎?
裴楷回答這個大臣。
你想問我什麼事情呢?
這個大臣說。
我們剛才到阮籍的家中弔唁的時候，阮籍沒有哭泣。我覺得他對於他母親的死他根本不傷心。
我們到他家表示弔唁時，他沒有按照正式的禮節接待我，所以我後來也沒有按照正式的禮節回應他。
但是你跟我不同，他一樣沒有照正式的禮節接待你，但是你卻按照正式的禮節回應他。
我想問你，你為何會採取這種回應方式呢?
裴楷回答這個大臣。
阮籍的思想境界與我們不同，他是一個超越了世俗規範的人，他認為內心的哀傷比外界的禮節更重要，所以他沒有用正式的禮節接待我。
我只是一個平凡的人，我沒有辦法像他一樣完全不理會別人的想法按照自己的內心生活，所以我還是依照正式的禮節來回應他。
這個大臣聽完他說的話後說。
你尊重別人與你的差異但你同時你堅守自己的原則，你的做法非常妥善，值得我來學習。
這句成語的意思被用來形容一個超越了世俗規範的人。
這句成語目前通常被用來形容道士或是和尚。
親愛的朋友，你聽完這個故事有怎樣的啟發或有怎樣的想法呢。
你如何評價裴楷的行為嗎?你是一個堅守自己原則又保持彈性的人嗎?
我期待這故事能讓你產生一些新的收穫。
出處為晉書-列傳49-阮籍傳
https://zh.wikisource.org/zh-hant/%E6%99%89%E6%9B%B8/%E5%8D%B7049